Tuesday, January 29, 2008

WARNING FOR THE GUYS

9 WORDS WOMEN USE




(1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.



(2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.



(3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.



(4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!



(5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)



(6)That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


(7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").



(8)Whatever:Is a women's way of sayingF*cKYOU!


(9)Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

4 comments:

elaineb said...

Two more warnings, kind of ..

1. Mike, life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

2. A little old lady was sitting on a bus bench in CV. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench.
After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"
He replies, "I lived here years ago."
"So, where were you all these years?"
"In prison," he says.
"Why did they put you in prison?"
He looked at her, and very quietly said, "I killed my wife."

"Oh!" said the woman. "So you're single..."

Mike said...

Love it Elaine , your so right.

elaineb said...

Living Wills:
Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
>
>
She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my beer.

Ed Black said...

Sometime Elaine, you've just got to be careful what you say. At least she didn't throw out the TV!

What a hoot!

Ed